This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
