We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
