ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
