I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize