They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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