this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
