Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
