Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
