all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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