your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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