I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
