You just made me feel so damn special
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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