I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
