Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
ttyl tear gas
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
