Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
