ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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