The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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