Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
