eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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