well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
