ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
