he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
