dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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