im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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