just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Randomize
