you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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