I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
