Christians are straight up FREAKS
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
