WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
