I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
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