Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
