he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
