is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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