i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
