Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
