Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
