She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
