I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
you didnt know i had herpes?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
