PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize