but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize