fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
