Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
