hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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