it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
