please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
