haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Randomize
