Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
