I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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