Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
