If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
