Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
