K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
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