i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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